Sex in Long Term Relationships

Sex in Long Term Relationships 

Long-term relationships can be filled with bliss, joy, happiness, and give structure to how we approach the world around us. This structure is important to our wellbeing as individuals, but is also sometimes the crux to a long-term relationship’s success. Deciding to be sexually active with one partner and one partner only can be an intimidating task for many. Sexual habits and interests can even be a dealbreaker when it comes to deciding on a life-partner. So how should we overcome this challenge and keep ourselves sexually satisfied with our dearly-beloved? Let’s take a look at some ways we can keep our sex-lives fresh with the same partner, regardless of how long the relationship is.


What is a Long-term Relationship?

In a long-term relationship, the “honey-moon” period relationship comes first, which is a period of romance in which oxytocin levels are heightened upon interaction with your partner. The length of this phase varies on the couple and the individuals involved, with estimates ranging from 18 months to three years.

The challenges that arise in this honeymoon phase are a lot less troublesome than those that arise after you have passed it, as these heightened oxytocin levels create a high that smooths out the bumps that may pop-up in a relationship’s road to happiness.

It is natural to start asking yourself questions about your happiness with your partner, as it is presumed that your long-term relationship could be “until death do you part.” These questions may be about values, lifestyle, or sexual compatibility.

Sex in Long-term Relationships

When we engage with a new sexual partner, there’s often enough excitement in simply the act of having sex. Finding out what your new partner likes and dislikes can be a fun process, and there isn’t too much need for creativity when having a first sexual encounter. Since our brains are releasing satisfaction chemicals such as dopamine and pain-relieving hormones such as oxytocin during sex, we can really just leave it up to our brains to give us a good time with a new partner.

As we noted earlier, however, oxytocin levels are lower with a partner who we have interacted with for long periods of time. Thus, the same sex we were having for years on end may not be quite as attractive as it once was.

Couples may fall into a ritual of sorts once their honeymoon phase of experimentation has run its course, leading to a non-satisfactory sex-life which can often lead to a non-successful long-term relationship.

How to Refresh your Long-term Sexual Relationship

Communication is an aspect of long-term relationships that many find important and useful in maintaining happiness and satisfaction. “Communication” doesn’t just refer to discussing what to eat for dinner or what movie to watch, but also involves discussing what to do to keep your sexual relationship fresh. 

Discussing what you like and don’t like, what you would change, and being more open and honest about sex can lead to more orgasms, positive feelings about sex, and greater relationship satisfaction. 

Being more open about sex can involve a number of paths of exploration, such as new types of play using couples’ toys, or even using male masturbators or female masturbators on your partner to introduce new sensations. 

We’ve introduced 4 Ways Sex Toys are Great for Your Relationship in a previous TENGA Blog, and as noted, communication and pleasure can increase with the use of TENGA items.

The TENGA SVR Series is TENGA’s standout couples’ item, featuring a vibrating ring you can strap around a hand or shaft to enhance the sensations of partnered pleasure. You can learn more about the TENGA SVR’s usage in another TENGA blog here.


Sex in long-term relationships may become less frequent, and unfortunately more stale if open communication and dialogue is not had between couples. Focusing on each other’s pleasure is a good method of maintaining satisfaction in a long-term sexual relationship, and whether your sexual relationship decays or not is up to your mindset and your actions. Couples’ items such as the TENGA SVR Series or products for one partner or the other (to be used as a couple) from the TENGA STORE USA are sure to bring new experiences and increase chances of orgasm, which is a major key to long-term relationship maintenance.

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